Friday, November 12, 2010

Parting of the Sensory

I will preface this post by saying that I don't believe in a god. I don't subscribe to any religion, and I'm a big proponent of the separation of church and state. That being said, most of the religious theories on what happens to us when we die don't make sense to me, except for one. Reincarnation.

Now, I don't mean reincarnation in the traditional sense in which you die and become another being and continue living on, but I mean it in a more scientific sense. If you think about it, everything in the universe is just as old as one another. You, me, the moon, and the sun are all the same age. We are all made of the same particles and elements which were created when the Big Bang happened. It's an incredible and sometimes overwhelming concept to me when I think about the sheer beauty of it.

Eventually you will die, and your particles will be broken down to supply new life forces with materials to live, so in effect you are still around. I wonder where all the carbon molecules in my body have been before I was born? What famous historic things have my particles lived through? It's just amazing to go outside at night and look up at the stars, knowing that I share the same building blocks with everything else, and the universe is like one big, living entity that recycles everything.

Someday I will die and somehow something's gonna steal my carbon...
...but I'm ok with that.

Monday, October 25, 2010

There's not much left to love, too tired today to hate

Every day I lose a little faith in humanity, not that I had a whole lot to begin with. I will preface this by saying that I work at a grocery store, and it's miserable. Our managers force us to harass the customers to donate to whatever the charity of the month is (Breast Cancer, Muscular Dystrophy, etc), which I've always hated doing. I feel like a whore begging for money like that, but in the back of my mind I tried to justify it by saying "it's going to a good cause at least." It wasn't until I uncovered the truth behind the pressure to get high donation rates that I was truly infuriated. I learned, after some investigating, that these grocery companies collect donations for profits. How could you profit off of donations to a charitable organization, you ask? Tax write-offs. You donate the cash and these big companies get the reputation for "raising over 7 million dollars for prostate cancer last month!" and also a nice, fat tax-write off. One day I'll escape the humiliation and mediocrity that is working at your local grocery store, and hopefully it's soon.

On the flip-side of things, I've also noticed how greedy the consumer is in comparison to the corporation. Our managers encouraged us to ask the customers if they would like to "round up their change" (i.e. making a grocery bill $1.67 to 2 dollars by donating the $0.33 to the charity). Surprisingly, my success rate for getting donations skyrocketed, but I still noticed that some people were adamant about keeping every penny they could, even when it was for a (supposed) good cause. I had a customer today that told me she didn't want to donate the remaining 13 cents to breast cancer research, but when the change spit out of the change machine she forgot to pick it up and left it sitting on the counter.

My relentless soliciting for donations exposed humans in their true light, greedy and selfish, constantly trying to screw one another over in order to have the most wealth. Unfortunately, I don't think we could ever revert back to a society that doesn't require currency of some sort and tap into some of that leftover ape DNA. Pic sort of related because I love Marilyn Manson's use of the dollar sign resembling a swastika because it's so true.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Prop. 19

So, I don't know if many people outside of the sunny state of California are aware, but there is a pretty important proposition on the ballot this November in California. Proposition 19, which is the legalization of cannabis initiative, could very well pass. I myself will be voting FOR the proposition. Anyone else live in California? What are you planning to vote for? It doesn't matter which way you're voting, just get out and vote!

Also, watch the Union if you are unable to make up your mind. It's a great video.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Wear a Condom

I'll preface with this story by saying I work at a grocery store. So I was walking around the story when I heard a bloodcurdling scream from an annoying little girl whining and begging her dad to buy her donuts. Her dad says "No, we aren't going to buy those." Then, he pauses and points to me and says "That man works here. He said we can't get any, sorry" Wtf, not only do I not want to be your scapegoat, but now it's my god damn responsibility to break the bad news to your stupid cunt turd of a child. On top of that, the guy said "You're gonna have to ask that man if you want them, but he said no." So the kid asks me, all teary eye'd and I said "Yes, of course you may have them!" Because fuck that guy.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

So today I'm just going to rant a little bit. There is this old lady that sits behind me in chemistry class and she is the most annoying miserable cunt in the universe. She always answers anything the professor generally asks the class, even rhetorical questions, under her breath. It's really irritating. She also has a lisp, and talks kind of like the way Dane Cook impersonates the way women speak. I didn't think anyone actually spoke like that until now. It takes all of my willpower to not lean back and headbutt her in the jaw whenever I hear her mouth open. Ok, that's it for now.

PS Dane Cook sucks.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The Best Goddamn Song In the World

You can't deny these songs don't send a chill down your spine. Plus, Grace Slick is pretty hot.


Why does McDonald's exclusively market to the urban crowd now? I want equal burger representation! It seems like every McDonald's commercial is some sort of rap or R&B song that is directed at a black audience.